Tuesday, October 18, 2005

Of Course, It Could Be Worse...

Dear People Who Read This Site, “George”, Girl, That Euro, Special C, Dr. Chris, The (Other) O.C., (Get Back) JoJo, and Potential Investors,

Just when I finished venting, I saw this. Man, being Ashlee Simpson is really wretched. I mean, she had to have that fake birthday party/lip synch concert special on MTV, where Jessica spent most of the time flashing her ring-less hand at the camera (btw, I don't get the Nick/Jessica split -- where's the good publicity in denying a divorce?), her Dad's a freak, her ex-boyfriend's crappy reality show on MTV is way better than her crappy reality show on MTV, and that hoe-down footage from the first SNL fiasco is burned into our collective consciousness. And, apparently, her new album is baaad. (Though, the producer magic made her singles sound less wretched than expected. Damn technology.)

And, this is an improvement in her life. Before this "singing" "career," she was on 7th Heaven.

Monday, October 17, 2005

Frustration

Dear People Who Read This Site, “George”, Girl, That Euro, Special C, Dr. Chris, The (Other) O.C., (Get Back) JoJo, and Potential Investors,

Sometimes it seems that every step forward I have with this company is illusory. Something good happens, and then something unexpected and disappointing happens. The thing is that everyone who has seen this product loves it. Yet, getting into a store has been harder than I thought it would be. And harder than I feel it should be. Of course, failure is not an option. And, as far as I'm concerned, this is not going to be an experience I use as training for something else. This needs to happen. I just have to figure out how.

It hardly seems fair sometimes. I mean, people get famous, book deals, and on Oprah (or Martha, or at least some manner of press) for internet panhandling, cooking every recipe in Julia Child's Mastering the Art of French Cooking, or making fun of poorly dressed celebrities, all of which I love and whose creators I applaud, but it is frustrating that, in this climate, I can't catch a break anywhere, even though I have a tangible product that rocks. And I'm not looking for fame -- just a store that will sell Embittermints at a reasonable price. Just someone besides me who really believes and will give the product a chance. And you know, these difficulties are not for lack of effort, either. I have sent a gazillion press mailings, with not so much successs, and the same with retail outlets. It'll get better, right? At least my project doesn't force anyone to eat sweetbreads.

Naturally, if you're a buyer or Oprah and want to feature Embittermints, please contact me asap.

Escalators Are the Real Killers

Dear People Who Read This Site, “George”, Girl, That Euro, Special C, Dr. Chris, The (Other) O.C., (Get Back) JoJo, and Potential Investors,

My lifelong fear of escalators (which I ride, fearfully, when forced), has been justified. For those too lazy to click on the link, a three-year old girl tripped and fell on an escalator at Macy's and lost her finger. Sheesh.

And, to balance out the horror, you'll be glad to know that Wing did not cheat me --I managed to listen to her renditions of "Highway to Hell" and "Back in Black" over the weekend with my membership. Bitchin!

Thursday, October 13, 2005

Addendum: Wing

The winner of the contest gets a membership to www.wingtunes.co.nz -- and a tin of mints.

About Wing:

[13:55] MM: you have to hear this:
[13:55] MM: http://www.wingtunes.co.nz/public/samples.aspx
[13:55] MM: listen to dancing queen
[13:59] "George": oh
[13:59] "George": my
[13:59] "George": god
[14:00] "George": my favorite things isn't so bad
[14:00] MM: did you listen to lucy in the sky with diamonds
[14:01] "George": she really likes abba
[14:01] "George": looking at her whole catalog
[14:02] MM: i want the ac/dc album.
[14:02] MM: bad.
[14:03] "George": oh my god
[14:03] MM: it is so fantastic. how do those south park guys find this stuff? (she was on the show last night, the boys were fighting to become her agents)
[14:04] "George": oh really
[14:04] "George": wondering where you found this
[14:05] "George": sent to all my friends
[14:05] MM: i know. i wish i had found it myself.
[14:05] "George": in an email titled
[14:05] "George": hot trax
[14:05] "George": did you read the bio
[14:05] "George": ?
[14:05] MM: fantastic!
[14:05] "George": she says
[14:05] "George": I hope that you all find I am improving
[14:06] "George": I want Wing sings the songs you Love
[14:06] "George": Dream Lover?
[14:06] "George": Hero?
[14:07] MM: but ac/dc -- back in black?!
[14:07] MM: i love back in black.
[14:07] "George": have you seen the store?
[14:07] "George": it's like a chinese restaurant
[14:08] "George": some from column a
[14:08] "George": some from column b
[14:08] MM: it is fantastic.
[14:08] "George": or the combo pack
[14:08] "George": OMG
[14:08] "George": some of the CDs have sold out
[14:09] "George": I love wing sings all your favorites
[14:09] "George": how is that different from Wing sings the songs you love
[14:10] "George": cheaper to buy cds I think
[14:10] "George": if you register you still have to pay to download
[14:11] "George": thank you
[14:11] "George": Wing has made me very happy today
[14:24] "George": I wonder if she sells tapes?
[14:24] "George": I want all her tapes
[14:25] "George": i can play them in my car
[14:25] "George": Rock out with Wing in the Lexus
[14:44] MM: i registered at the website
[14:59] "George": OMG
[14:59] "George": we should share
[15:00] "George": you only get 5 free downloads
[15:00] MM: they won't let us listen to samples, saying that we have no downloads left. it's very odd. i hope it isn't a scam.
[15:00] MM: wing wouldn't do that to us, right?
[15:00] "George": god I hope not

First Ever Contest

Dear People Who Read This Site, “George”, Girl, That Euro, Special C, Dr. Chris, The (Other) O.C., (Get Back) JoJo, and Potential Investors,

That's right. We have our first ever, genuine contest here for the kind reader(s) of these Musings. The prize -- you got it, Embittermints mints -- 1 tin. The task -- find the announcement of our trademark application in the October 11 Gazette of the USPTO. And also list the funniest other trademark you see on your way there. But, do not oppose the trademark. Please. All entries should be posted in the comments section for this post. This will be most fun you've had since California Gubernatorial Bingo.

In other news, we've made more contact with buyers. Keep your fingers crossed.

Friday, October 07, 2005

She *is* good and kind!

Dear People Who Read This Site, “George”, Girl, That Euro, Special C, Dr. Chris, The (Other) O.C., (Get Back) JoJo, and Potential Investors,

Is there anything Oprah can't do? Seriously. Giving away cars, fighting crime, surviving Tiny Tom's couch gymnastics...she is wonderful.

Thursday, October 06, 2005

More Progress

Dear People Who Read This Site, “George”, Girl, That Euro, Special C, Dr. Chris, The (Other) O.C., (Get Back) JoJo, and Potential Investors,

I have some good news. Well, sort of. Apparently the trademark of Embittermints (tm) is on its way to registration. As of next week, any objectors will have 30 days to object to our obtaining the trademark, and then I'll be allowed to pay to register it. Why, any where from one month to 10 years from now, we could have the official registration of the trademark done. Exciting stuff. Many of you may think it's a little late, what with the massive inventory and burgeoning sales. But, fear not. I saw that everyone's Whole Foods favorite brand "365" is in this week's trademark office gazette. And they've got a gazillion products in Whole Foods stores. So we're not behind schedule. Though it would be nice to have a gazillion products somewhere. Buyers? Anyone?

So, that's some good news. The other good news is that I am not Katie Holmes. I wouldn't have minded being Katie Holmes circa Dawson's Creek, at least during seasons 3 and 4, since Dawson himself was evil, and it was nice to see her flee him with Pacey. But, I digress. Not having to bear the spawn of Tiny Tom is reason enough to wake up smiling.